Thursday, June 09, 2005

Nude Women vs. Naked Ladies

Frankly, I'm torn.

Nude Women enjoy yoga and long distance running. Naked Ladies play paddle ball down at the lake.

Nude Women keep journals. Naked Ladies do the Word Scramble.

Nude Women are black and white. Naked Ladies have poor color separation.

Nude Women play harps. Naked Ladies dance on top of pianos.

Nude Women study architecture. Naked Ladies are undeclared.

Nude Women backpack Tibet. Naked Ladies watch Animal Planet.

Nude Women have shy smiles. Naked Ladies have large gums.

Nude Women skip stones. Naked Ladies whittle.

Nude Women drive old Saabs. Naked Ladies drive Solid Gold Cadillacs.

Nude Women have cats. Naked Ladies have little dogs named “Free Show”.*

Nude Women sunbathe on river rocks. Naked Ladies go skinny dipping off a rope swing.

Nude Women aesthetic accessory of choice: peacock feather. Naked Ladies: SPARKLERS!

Nude Women defend public libraries. Naked Ladies set horses free.

Nude Women are published. Naked Ladies are heard.

Nude Women sit on the veranda. Naked Ladies hang out on lawn chairs.

* A favorite joke among 8 year old boys:

Once there was a lady who had a little dog she called Free Show.
Free Show always got out of the house and ran up and down the street.
One day, Free Show got real sick, so the lady took him to the vet.
The vet said keep Free Show inside or he will get even sicker!!!
So when they got home, the lady told Free Show:
“I am going to take a shower. Stay inside, okay?”
So the lady took all her clothes off to get in the shower
and Free Show escaped!!!!!!
So the lady ran out of the house naked and yelled:
“Free Show! Free Show!”

A classic.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Crackpot Press said...

I like Naked Girls, Girls, Girls...

18+ for any patriot act spies watching me.

2:19 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

It just occurred to me that my traffic should pick up considerably.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Where (or how) did you come up with this list?! I tried to use it as a test, to see if I'm more of a nude woman or a naked lady.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

As a kid I thought of "naked lady" was something like a profession.
The Naked Lady lifestyle revolves around drinking cocktails and groovy dancing. Naked Ladies stand for an easy going good times. Not sex. Just having a blast, letting it all hang out, and swearing. I'd like to think there is a little Naked Lady in all of us.

4:06 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Oh dear...I AM a naked lady. After reading your response I was filled with the memory of a naked conga line (I was 1st behind the leader)...naked dancing in a hottub (my gay male friend was so embarrased he had to look away)...naked hula hooping while others twirled fire (I think it's called poi) around me...and fantastic midnight swims in the ocean, naked bodies lit by phosforescence (that is spelled SO wrong). And next week, I go back to the island paradise where the annual nakedness takes place for another week of fun and frolic (and some teaching which is why I end up there every year...I'm faculty).

8:24 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

I'm glad you were able to clear that up, Donna.

9:45 AM  

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