Tuesday, October 11, 2005

How my mind works -- STARFUCKER EDITION

-- Arrive at work. Listen to my pod mate argue with a producer (the pod mate Michael who graciously invited my family to eat delicious home cooked food with his family. Chicken livers and truffle oil on toast!).

-- Go to get coffee. Am now thinking about a presentation that both the pod mate and I participated in -- to Scott McNealy and board of Sun Microsystems. During the preamble and introductions, McNealy jams his thumbs in his ears and starts grunting – no joke. “Quit the spiel! Just show me the work!” (SUN MICROSYS INC (SUNW): 4.06)

-- This gets me thinking about McNeely and the fact he apparently named each of his kids after AMC cars. Am processing AMC car names, and can only come up with Maverick as a possible name. Pacer and Gremlin are too alarming to consider further.

-- The phrase “a Gremmy with a Hemi” has know taken over my mind and is shaking it like a Jack Russell with a rag soaked in beef stew. The only way I can countact this is thinking about what would the implications had been if we named our son GRADY as we originally discussed, vs. OWEN. While GRADY is a cool name, the only person I know of named GRADY was the guy on “SANFORD AND SON”.

-- Enter Starfucks. Am bewildered by sheer suckiness of the music they sell. Do we need an acoustic set of “Jagged Little Pill”? Remixes of Sly and the Family Stone? And who the fuck is Antigone Rising? This makes me think about hippies and seeing the godawful Bela Flek and the Flektones at Stern Grove. Why? Why? Why? I smoked pot behind a bush and then saw a girl that I went to High School with hippy dancing with a guy in some sort of plume-ed medieval hat. Did not say hi.

-- This makes me think of the three guys from high school who came out after high school, and that nobody I knew was terribly surprised.

-- Starfucks made me think about Howard Shultz who, yes, I was also in a presentation to. (This is not name dropping, because these people are dull and generally uptight jerks.) It went okay. He made a big deal about the coffee service, which was understandable. The coffee was just okay. (I wish there was someplace with decent coffee nearby, but there isn’t. Fuck, I’m an idiot.)

-- Thinking about celebrities I have seen:
*Steven Hawkings – Awesome! In Heathrow Airport – making a report to a cop after my wallet got stolen. Hawkings comes jamming on through. The Universe stops for a second. Awesome.

*Scott from Anthrax, I think. I stared at him a long time. It sure looked like him, but I didn't ask because a) it was him, and I'd sound like dork or b) it's some creep trying to look like him, so I'd be validating his weeniness.

*Bob Wilkins from Creature Features (Best crappy monster movie show ever)

*Bjork – In a natural food store in San Luis Obispo (Sugarcubes era!)

*Dave Alvin – In a bookstore in San Luis Obispo

(Discursive Horseshit: San Luis Obispo, being a college town halfway between San Francisco and LA gets a lot of biggish acts. My friend Mark actually saw Jonathan Richman – a man who slept on Andy Warhol’s couch – standing at a San Luis Obispo bus stop with his guitar case in hand, waiting for the bus to Santa Maria.

Mark: “You need a ride, Jonathan?”

Jonathan: “Yeah!”

Jonathan then took Mark out for a burrito – “...it’s gotta be a place where they speak Spanish, Mark...”

At the burrito place, Jonathan starts speaking fluent Spanish and they get a tour of the kitchen. True motherfucking story.)

* Timothy Dalton – getting hassled by customs at LAX. Big burly motherfucker!

* John Doe – Did some music for a project I was working on. Very nice. Talked about coaching his daughters’ soccer team.

* Dave Immergluck – My neighbor is friends with Immergluck, former Monk of Doom, now a Counting Crow. Also the drummer, Jim Bogios. So that counts.

* Michael Dempsey – My friend Michael STARRED in the play “Mr. Roberts” at the MOTHERFUCKING KENNEDY (AS IN GRASSY KNOLL) CENTER. He’s a star. Oh, yeah. A star. Michael also once served ice cream to Shane MacGowan.

* The guy that owns Joe Boxer (don’t know his name...probably Joe something). For some reason, I’ve seen this guy like five times in and around San Francisco, and once in New York. He is quite a dandy, this feller. I find that I have seen this man SIX times absolutely shocking, and endeavor to tell pod-mate Michael IMMEDIATELY.

-- Breathlessly, enter the POD. Michael is doing something workish: “MICHAEL! Did you know I’ve seen the guy that owns Joe Boxer like SIX TIMES! Once in New York!... Just walking around! And did you see that Downfall Hitler movie? It's really good!”

Michael just stares at me.

What’s wrong with me?

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Blogger Crackpot Press said...

You met Bob Wilkins? Awesome!

If you remember the Green Beast of a car I had in High School, that was an AMC Ambassador.

I once got wasted on Scotch and smoked a lot of cigarettes in the Roosevelt Hotel with Peter Billingsly.. aka the little kid from "A Christmas Story"

1:39 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Saw Wilkins at the El Ray, an old art deco bijou on Main Street. At its former location there is currently a gelatio shop and an eyeglass frame store.

I must have been...nine? He was autographing 8x10 glossies of Buster Crabbe/Flash Gordon (My SISTER DATED HIS GRANDSON), and Godzilla.

I then I saw my first 3D movie, "Invasion from Earth".

Awesome day!

I think the El Ray was a porn theater for a short period, then it shut down.

Do you remember the GIANT porn theater in pleasant hill? It got run out of business by some Christian bastards and now it's a church. DAMMIT.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Didn't he also do a Kid's show where he was Captain Cosmic or some shit. He wore a mask sio you never knew for sure. However we got decoder cards in the mail to decode his secret message... the question "What is the true Identity of Captain Cosmic?"

The answer: "It is not Bob Wilkins"

I worked at the El Ray when it was a dance hall for old foggies who wanted to see Beatles and Chubby Checker impersonators.

Man that's a bummer about the porn theater in Pleasant Hill... I guess I will have to find another place to masturbate in public when I visit. Damn Christians!

3:35 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

No shit about the El Ray? When did you work there?

3:57 PM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Wait my bad I worked at the Rheem theater...it was like 88 or 89..

The Ratto Years...

4:25 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Is the Rheem the one in Moraga, by the bowling alley? And there was a good hamburger place over there, a Nation's I think...

4:34 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

That Joe Boxer guy...he's a Canadian, you know. I work with his brother who is a kick-ass graphic designer in Victoria, BC. I forgot Joe Boxer's first name...but his last name is Graham...oh I could tell you stories about his childhood!

7:45 PM  
Blogger Toby said...

Antigone Rising was once a girl who worked in the media department at Chiat. She went off one day to play in the Sarah McLaughlin tour. We thought it was cute. When she was there, as I've heard the tale, she was standing near the port-o-potties and the Starbucks monster snuck up behind her and devoured her and then,obviously, digested her.

11:14 AM  

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