Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Workmate Ed wore orange pants today.

So I sent him the following emails.

First line is the subject line, the second line is the
body.

Ed, PG&E called...
... and they wanted to know if they could borrow your
pants to shut down a lane on i-5.

Ed, NASA called…
... and your pants are giving their space station guys
headaches.

Ed, the National Institute for the Blind called...
...and they'd like you to knock that shit off with
your pants.

Ed, the Minute Maid people called...
...and they want you to stop smuggling their trees in
your pants.

Ed, the Coast Guard called...
...and their sending a chopper right over. Why?
Because your fucking pants are fucking orange.

Ed, the Liberace Museum called...
... and they were wondering if you could fucking tone
down your fucking pants.

Ed, the International Mariachi Festival called...
... and they asked that you leave those fucking pants
at home, because you'll distract from the trumpets.

Ed, John-Paul Gaultier called...
...he was wondering if you could return his drapes.

Ed, a career counselor called…
...he said “Don't worry. I KNOW what color your
fucking parachute is. It's fucking orange.”

Ed, Starburst's lawyer called...
...just to let you know they want to give you the
patent for the color ORANGE.

Ed, the British Navy called...
...they wanted to know if your pants can prevent
scurvy.

Ed, the Pantone people called...
... and they said that they don't even have a chip for
that crazy shit. (Refering to the color of your pants,
Ed.)

Ed, the Orangina People called...
...they want to know if they could carbonate your
pants.

Ed, the Sun called...
...he surrenders

Ed, a shitload of rabbits called...
...they want to eat your legs.

Ed, Linus called...
...he wants to wait all night in the pumpkin patch for
your pants.

Ed, ING called...
...they wanted to know if your pants wanted to open a
high interest checking account.

Ed, San Clemente called...
...they want their county back.

Ed, Alice Walker called...
...she wants to do a book about your pants called "The
Color Orange"

Ed, Bill Cosby called...
...he thinks your pants escaped from one of his
sweaters.

Ed, Carrot Top called...
...he wants your pants to stop stealing his act.

Ed, Kubrick called...
...he doing a film he'd like your pants to star in
called "Clockwork Orange Pants".

Ed, the Teletubbies called...
...they have the ransom money and were wondering if
you could please send Tinky Winky home.

Ed is a good sport.

Labels: ,

18 Comments:

Blogger Marion said...

Nice, 23 ways to brighten your work day, or 24, if we count the orange pants. (I did actually count your e-mails, which tells you a lot about how much I need brightening of my work night...)

1:27 PM  
Blogger Mickey said...

funny stuff

3:55 PM  
Blogger Walking Spanish said...

the pantone gag killed me

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny......Dont you word at that place. I personally like the Color Orange, Orangina and any of the others I can loosely say I take credit for.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Pursey Tuttweiler said...

I would love to see Ed in his orange pants. Orange is a happy color. I am wondering just what shade of orange Ed's pants were. I better go ponder.

9:42 AM  
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Blogger Donna said...

Laughed out loud to this post, Greg. and then again to the relevance of the comment above mine... talk of orange pants triggers head shop spam. That's hilarious!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous jobbie said...

As witness to said same pants, I salute this ode to Sr. Crayola Slacks. I still think Ed is just covering the fact that it's really a County jumpsuit.

I think a Jessica Simpson/J-Lo insta-tan joke is in order.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Ed certainly sounds like a good sport :)

4:46 AM  
Blogger Mickey said...

celia- Behave like that will put you in a nice shade of orange too, just like Ed( :

6:39 PM  
Blogger kimananda said...

All that is missing is the photo...or perhaps it's better without....

12:45 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

wow, sounds like you had a really productive day at work!

12:27 AM  
Blogger Christopher said...

This is what you get for trying new and crazy things. Imagine how bad it would be if he wore girls pants to work like I did. For a bet. Twice.

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