George W. Bush: Our Last Hope Against the Duck Men.

"Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research -- human cloning in all its forms ... creating or implanting embryos for experiments ... creating human-animal hybrids..."

We humans –- and by "human", I mean the last of the non-hybridized, bill-free humanoids -- have a new champion. He is our President, George W. Bush.

For of all the leaders of the world, he is a lonely stalwart (and bulwark) against a threat few will speak of, out of fear, out of submission, and sadly, even out of profit. I speak of course of…THE DUCK MEN.

For our President’s vigilance against the rise of the insidious Duck Men, those chimeras of vile countenance, is where our hope for a non-webbed world can find succor and protection. It only because of his words that I can sleep soundly again, knowing that the fiends have been chased back to their debased lairs, skulking among the tules for bread crusts and snails.

Even now, the paladins of the NSA are listening, monitoring our communications for quack and toots. Of course, some snivel shlibertarians will bitch and moan. Why worry if you have nothing to hide? Perhaps you should FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER if you don't like it, comrade!

So Run, Duck Men, 'cause the Pride of Yale is coming down hard on your billed race! It's huntin' season!