Old Chinese Lady-robics: Addendum

I'm been in a reflective mood these past few days. Perhaps it is the coming of the Yule that has put me is this frame of mind. I've been thinking some on Old Chinese Ladies and their -robics. The torrential winter rains have driven them from the small green public spaces where they practice their Hindoo Squats. I miss them.

However, being out of their shimmering physical presence has giving me the clarity to reflect on their glory more objectively. And here's a thought I had:

What if, instead of Tacky Protestants and Snake Handling Rubes, the group to swept away by the Rapture were in fact Old Chinese Ladies? What if their rigorous arm swings and hip rolls were to prepare for the rigor of being Teleported by the Holy Spirit? Or perhaps their movements are an esoteric ritual to call down the Holy Pigeon Hisself? And maybe, just maybe, that ISN'T Mandarin they're speaking, but Hittite or Geez? I mean, what do I know? I'm an idiot. And an asshole.

That would fuck up a lot of people's plans. A lot of morons standing around in Colorado Springs in white robes, wondering WHEN THIS SHIT IS GOING TO START, when meanwhile, the California Street bus would suddenly become empty. except for a few pink plastic shopping bags getting knocked around by the convection currents summoned by the warm Easter Sun.

I'd like to think that's how it'll happen. The Old Chinese Ladies deserve it.