Monday, June 05, 2006

I work with a man who has an enormous fleshy ass.

Let qualify that; I work with a man who, while wearing pants, appears to have an enormous fleshy ass. And I’m certainly no Adonis, but this man’s ass is so incredibly big that talking about it simply couldn’t be considered cruel. It’d be like scanning across the sweep of the Swiss Alps and being circumspect about the Matterhorn. His ass is empirically, fantastically large and blubbery.

I have not seen this man’s bare ass. Although, given the opportunity I would, because it appear so very fleshy and enormous. To miss an opportunity to seeing his two massive buttocks nude would be like turning down an audience with the Pope.

It even jiggles a little bit. It’s like he’s smuggling two pot roasts on top of a normal sized masculine ass. Is there cellulite? If he flexes his buttocks, do they dimple like two halves of a golf ball? I’d approach him, but I need my job. Maybe if it were my last day, I’d approach him with a crisp hundred dollar bill and ask. Purely non-sexual. I just really want to see his enormous fleshy ass in action.

He wears dungerees and khakis, which he fills out in the seat like twenty pounds of wet corn meal. He’s sort of pitched forward and walks with a slight waddle. Understandably, perhaps. I’ve never spoken with him, but he joshes and slaps backs with the other fellas like a baseball coach.
His upper body seems to be normal, if a little chunky and foreshortened, like it’s being swallowed by his ass.

Yet his legs seem to be both fat and long. Their length may be an illusion, as his fleshy ass is so enormous that it forces him to wear his pants extremely high on his doughy haunches. I’m pretty sure their fatness is not an illusion. Pretty much a wysiwyg type of thing going down. They look like fucking gelatinous tree trunks because that is what they are. Two gelatinous tree trunks holding up twenty-odd pounds of wet cornmeal.
Now, I couldn’t say his ass is feminine. The female buttock form is weighted more towards the bottom and I say amen to that. The feminine badonkadonk is one of life’s great pleasures. No, this is a leather necked, he-man MASCULINE form of Steatopygia. While a little bit hippy, he doesn’t have an hour glass form. He just has a enormous, fleshy ass.

And I'm fascinated by it.

Have a nice day.

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Blogger jackt said...

Only worse thing than a man crush is a fat ass crush.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

It's purely for my edification.

And I like your site. Am going to link.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

I would be fascinated too. A little TOO fascinated...

5:42 AM  
Blogger G. said...

Remember what I've always said: "Touch but don't tell" er....I mean...."Look but don't touch." Yeah, that's it...

Incidently the word verication for this is: "bwohajhb." I swear I saw an Indian film of the same name last month.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

TO be clear, I'M NOT GAY (some of my best friends, etc). This is about fucking freakishness.

12:09 AM  
Blogger G. said...

I know, I's mesmerizing, like a lava lamp.

8:26 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

I feel horrible now. One of the few workmates who reads my blog was cackling about it.

But, science can be cruel. I must go on.

11:17 AM  

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