Wednesday, November 29, 2006

HOLY CRAP! IT'S MOJO NIXON!

So here's the MOJO NIXON interview. If you don't know who he is, try this link or the great man's website.

Note that I wrote the questions, while Crackpot Dave actually asked the great man the questions over the phone. This interview also appears over at the entirely more legible Crackpotpress.com.




In the mid-eighties, at the height of the Reagan-Thatcher era, there was a lot of earnest arena-protest music, U2, Peter Gabriel, Midnight Oil and the like. Tepid stuff, mostly, lyrics that most people would have a hard time arguing with...war is bad, racism is bad, poverty is bad, etc. Whatever nugget of anger that may have existed in the genesis of the song was so blanketed by studio wash that all you that came across was whining.

But there was one voice that managed cut through the crap by being insensitive, funny and celebratory of sex, 'shrooms, and Bigfoot. That'd be MOJO FUCKING NIXON, of course -- no bullshit lyrics gibbered over some primitive ape-man rock and roll. With one whimpy email, we were able to get Mojo put it all back into perspective.

Who can forget such classics as "I Aint Going to Piss in No Jar", a version of “This Land is Your Land" that was probably intended to rock Wooody Guthrie out of his grave and "Stuffin' Martha's Muffin", about a desired sexual congress with MTV VJ Martha Quinn?

10 Albums and 20 Years later, you cannot kill Mojo Nixon. The rock-n-roll redneck prophet’s latest project, a political rantfest called “Lyin’ Cocksuckers” can now be heard on Sirius Channel 102. You can also hear Mojo Daily on Outlaw Radio, also on Sirius.

On to the interview:

Hail, Mojo.

G: So, a batch of cocksuckers got thrown out of office earlier this month, and have been replaced a whole new batch of hatchling cocksuckers. You think we’re better off?

MOJO: Look, the Republicans and the Democrats have been selling us the same bag of shit with different colors on it. You know it’s just a matter of who’s paying the piper. All politicians are whores. You don’t get elected to the Congress or the Senate without getting somewhere between 5 and a 100 million dollars. So somebody is paying those people and who’s ever payin’ is makin’ them dance. So I don’t think there is that big a difference, but I do think the election was a big FUCK YOU to George Bush and his idiotic Iraq policy. You’re gonna hear a lot of talk, I have a political talk show on Sirius 102 Sirius Stars, my political talk show LYIN’ COCKSUCKERS and you are gonna hear a lot of talk about how Iraq was mismanaged. Which is why we had to fire Rumsfeld. Iraq wasn’t mismanaged. IRAQ WAS A BAD IDEA FROM THE BEGINNING. Iraq has ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY nothing to do with 9-11. Saddam Hussein and Bin Ladin are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11 and invading Iraq is possibly -- I mean short of dropping a nuclear bomb on Mecca it was the second dumbest thing we could do.

G:Anyone get elected that seems reasonably human to you?

MOJO: Naw, not really. I didn’t see anybody. There is a Senator from Vermont who claims to be a socialist and looks a little crazy. You know how John MCCain has that far away look in his eye? I know John McCain has kind of transformed himself from Maverick to Conservative stalwart here in the last ten years. Whatever they did to John McCain in the Hanoi Hilton, he’s looking at something REAL FAR AWAY that me and you can’t see. Same thing with the Senator from Vermont. He’s looking at something way off in the horizon. In his eyeball Karl Marx is dancing with Frederick Engels way off in the distance.

G: Michael J. Fox, who in 1987-ish you deemed the anti-Elvis, made an appearance this election season in campaign commercial down in
Missouri. Have you ever met up with the dude? Has he gained Elvisness throughout the years?

MOJO: I’ve never met with Michael J. Fox. AND I STAND BY WHAT I SAID. I will not pretend. I don’t care what kind of disease he’s got. I don’t pretend to be an evil yuppie twit, he shouldn’t pretend to be a rock and roller. In that BACK TO THE FUTURE movie, and in that awful Paul Schrader, Joan Jett thing, LIGHT OF DAY which had the Springsteen song which should have been a great working class rock and roll movie. And it’s a TURD! Because Michael J. Fox is in it. I don’t pretend to be an evil yuppie twit, he should not pretend to be a rock and roller. The idea that he invents duck walking and the Chuck Berry guitar riff.

CHUCK BERRY INVENTED THAT. Well, actually it was the guy from Louie Jordan’s band, but that’s a whole other story. The point being is that there is this Louie Jordan song, Caledonia, the famous Chuck Berry riff that’s at the beginning of Johnny B. Goode and all the Chuck Berry Songs (Mojo Performs Riff Here) that is actually from a Louie Jordan Song, Louis Jordan was kinda rock and roll before rock and roll. He was kinda novelty R&B guy in the late 40’s early 50’s, had a ton of hits. He has that guitar riff in the middle of it, only played half as fast. (Mojo does riff here). The Chuck Berry Riff. Nobody’s inventing anything. Everybody is STEALING something.

But back to Michael J. Fox and stem cell research. It just shows the poverty of the intellect, the poverty of the imgagination to say that somehow you are against abortion but you want to keep people crippled. I don’t understand… if you want to help- I understand the urge to want to help. I understand the urge to feed, to clothe, to heal the sick, to get the people good jobs and houses, to give people hope for people who have no hope but to be so crazy as to say “Oh no we can’t do stem cell research or the government can’t fund stem cell research” We MIGHT do something. Kinda like Iraq MIGHT have weapons of mass destruction and MIGHT have a link to Al-Qaeda. I can’t understand people calling themselves religious and being hateful. To me if a preacher is preaching hate, is preaching you to hate your enemies, to fear God... that’s not religion, that’s not helping humanity, that’s organizing an army to defeat somebody.

G: In his endeavor to become the new governor of the Once Great State of Texas, Kinky Friedman unfortunately did not succeed, but it was nice to have a guy that seemed like a human being rather than a haircut. What was getting out on the road with him like? Did you get the sense that people were excited by him?

MOJO: RICHARD KINKY BIG DICK FRIEDMAN, talked to him the other day.I got a great sense that people are sick and tired or regular politics. They’re sick and tired of people just standing there lying. Ya know politicians play this game “oh you know I am lying and I know I am lying but for the sake of political correctness, I have to lie”

Kinky just said what the fuck was on his mind. Ya know from one perspective Kinky should have gotten NO votes. He should have got one or two percent. He got twelve or thirteen percent. He got half a million votes, so that in and of itself is CRAZY, man. A Jewish comedic alt country singer song writer post-Chandler detective novelist gets a half a million votes in TEXAS? It’s amazing. But the other side of the equation is, there was one point in the middle of the summer when I was looking at the polls, I mean I can go online and look at the polls, Kinky was at about 24 percent. The Governor, the incumbent hand picked by George Bush to succeed him, Rick Perry was a bout 33%. All Kinky needed was for Rick Perry to get caught fucking a sheep or something and he could have WON! I talked to Kinky the other day after the election, I’m in San Diego and I called him and thanked him for letting me come along and you gave a good fight and he’s like:

“Now I can I tell you all the damn nasty perverted sex jokes I wanted to tell you during the campaign”

And there is a tape, a friend of Kinky’s, Kinky’s old manager Cleve, Cleve is an old time Austin Hippie and was Kinky’s right hand man for years, he got pushed out during the campaign. Cleve got me a job at a porno magazine. I was doing this thing called the “Poontango Report”

Cleve got a job there and said “Touring rock-N-Roll is gonna kill us. We’re gonna get jobs as editors of Porno Magazines”

I’m like HELL YA. This is a great idea. The greatest thing about working for a porno magazine -- one thing is -- you can say whatever the hell you want! SHIT, NO ONE’S READIN IT! Second thing is, my wife would come out and I would have all these porno magazines out on the floor, and she’d go “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

I’m looking at the competition, Baby.

So anyways, Cleve’s wife was sick. There was a big benefit for her down in Austin and I went. There were doing some kind of webcast through Digital Club Network. And they say you and Kinky gotta go into this little room and just talk for ten minutes. Kinky said some of the nastiest, craziest, perverted, shit you have ever heard in your life. If they had found the tape Kinky would have gotten negative votes.
Had they found the tape, they would have killed Kinky. They woulda killed Kinky and me. My head would be on Kinky’s body right now. Luckily they didn’t find the tape.

That’s one of Mojo’s rules. No audio, no video evidence. LET THE MYTHS BEGIN MY FRIENDS!!!

G: Mojo, what gives with this alt-country? What’s “alt” about it and what’s country about it? Who would you claim to be the godfathers of Alt-Country?

MOJO:There is a lot, Ryan Adams and No Depression and there is a bunch of snooze grazing sensitive fucks who think that Gram Parsons is the second coming of Bob Dylan that is giving this whole thing a bad name. Kinda of Poindexter types who think too much. The Alt-Country that I am interested in is the “Fuck You” alt country. You know that picture of Johnny Cash giving the finger? Johnny Cash giving the finger, David Allen Coe, THE BEAT FARMERS, the Blasters, you know, George Jones.

GEORGE JONES.

You know, his wife takes the keys away from him. So he drives the lawnmower to the liquor store.

THAT’S what I am talking about.

When country and rock and roll come together… Joe Ely. Joe Ely is the perfect artist. Too country for Rock-n-Roll… Too Rock-N-Roll for country. Steve Earle. He’s been married seven times and had to get off of heroin nine different ways.

Steve Earle has a nice FUCK YOU attitude.

G: What are you rocking out to these days? Do you still tour with the Sonic Love Jug?

MOJO: Naw, I’m retired from touring. We came out of retirement to help Kinky get on the ballot in the Spring, that almost killed me. Sonic Love Jug has been retired for ten years. I haven’t been playing much at all. My bass player Earl Friedman… his wife, something of a hussy, left him. Went off with some other guy. We might have to get the band together next year to get Earl Friedman laid.

We’re not doing it for me. We’re doing it so Earl can get some new poontang.

G: What sort of voodoo is needed to kill Nashville once and for all?

MOJO: Oh, it’ll never die. Nashville.

The thing that you always have to remember is that Britney Spears and Madonna have more in common with today’s Nashville than today’s Nashville has in common with Loretta Lynne and Hank Williams. Those people CAN’T WAIT TO SELL OUT. They’re selling out on the way out.

Selling real hillbilly music is a niche market. It’s like selling Zydeco or Ska or Bluegrass or Rockabilly. There are only so many people that like that kind of music, right?

Occasionally someone may make the cross to the mainstream, someone doing real country music. But they don’t care anything about that; it’s just pop music to them and it has been for a long time.

And most of the guys in Nashville are really just doing the Springsteen, Fogerty, Bob Seger, Johnny Cougar three chord rock. They’re not country. They have more in common with John Cougar than with Hank Williams.

And Garth Brooks, he’s a problem. Garth Brooks biggest influence was James Fucking Taylor; James Taylor and KISS… and he makes both of them look good! You’ve got to imagine, these guys grew up in the 70’s, the guys who are the pretty boy country singers now.

You know I was out with Sirius doing Outlaw Country and Keith Urban played and everyone talked about how good he palyed.

HE STUNK. He was awful. HE put the M in mediocre. I called him Mr. Nicole Kidman and almost got fired.

But hell, it was worth it.

G: In the 80’s you were a vocal opponent of the War on Drugs, suggesting “we should have a war on wars.” Whatever happened to the War on Drugs, did we win? Is it still going on?

MOJO: Oh, it’s still gong on. Police Departments are still getting money. Sooner or later this will all go away. The War on Drugs is still going on.

It’s good business for the jailers, for the prosecutors, for the police departments getting grant money. You know, getting a piece of that DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) grant money so they can buy a tank. The War on Drugs will never be won. There will always be a sheriff in a small town in the middle of nowhere who will turn his head for five minutes for $100,000. In fact, where I grew up in Danville, Virginia… just one county over in Martinsville, Virginia they just had a big deal where the local police who don’t get paid much money were confiscating the drugs from the drug dealers and selling it back to them at 80% of the dealers’ selling price.

They just got caught doing that.

That’s always going to happen.

Eventually all drugs will be legalized. You know people get on their high moral horse. As long as cigarettes and alcohol are legal, you have no moral foot to stand on. As long as drug companies are on the T.V. advertising WHAM-A-SEX or whatever the fuck it is, a purple pill, you have no moral foot to stand on.

Why can’t we, as adults, pick and choose what drugs to kill ourselves with? We’re all going to die, I want to die happy.

G: How’s radio treating you? Lying Cocksuckers, your show on Sirius Satellite, is one of the finest of all frequency modulated products currently available to peckerwoods like me.

MOJO: It’s going fantastic. I was working for awhile for Clear Channel, I went to Cincinnati in 1998, I got fired from talk radio there twice. I was working on a morning show from WNEN and I learned a lot about radio, but I was being handcuffed quite a bit. So I came back to San Diego and I was doing afternoon drive on KGB. I was making a ton of money, but I was not happy. This Sirius thing, Outlaw Country and Lyin Cocksuckers is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I can play anything I want. Once a week, I play “Tie My Pecker to My Leg” by ME.

I CAN SAY ANYTHING I WANT.

I can say “George Jones sings so good it makes your dick hard. Mojo Nixon, Sirius Satellite Radio.”

And then, I am doing this out of my house is San Diego.

So I can say anything I want, I can do anything I want. I’ve got little to no supervision. On LYIN’ COCKSUCKERS, I even tested it one time to see if someone was secretly listening and say “Oh. No you can’t go that far”

I did fucking ten minutes about Barbara Bush having a clit like a hot dog. Her clit is so big it has little clit’s orbiting around it. NOBODY SAID NOTHING!

I am FREE to SPEAK THE TRUTH!

G: It’s jive, of course, that truly interesting adult type conservation is banished to subscription radio, for the Sake of the Children. Who are these Children and how’d they become such tyrannical bunch of assholes?

MOJO: I don’t know. This whole idea of family values. Ya know, how do you make a family?

Ya make a family by fucking. How do you fuck? By getting nekkid.

So, the two greatest family values are nekkid people fucking.

G: You just started a new Nascar Show on Sirius in addition to Lying Cocksuckers…

MOJO: I just did my preview the other day. It went great. I have been preparing my whole life to do a NASCAR talk show. I think it will all work out real good.

G: Tell me about Nascar. I don’t get it. I don’t get the fans. I don’t get the sport. Enlighten me.

MOJO: I love racing. Did you ever race a Go-Kart as a kid? You go into the turn and there is point when you go too fast and you are going to hit the turn too fast and spin out and hit the wall. There’s another part when you are going too slow. Then there is the racing part when you are in between, on the razor’s edge of adhesion. If you go much faster than that or you break a little less you are going to wreck. If you do it just right, well then, you’ll beat the guy behind you. I grew up around it down South. My Daddy was a big fan.

I LOVE RACING. I LOVE NASCAR.

I love smelling the rubber. I love hearing the sound of the engines, seeing the flames coming out of the exhaust. I love seeing three guys going for one spot down the back straight away. AHH!

You know, it’s really just three guys from North Carolina turning left for no reason. You know what it really is?

It’s an existential need to fill the void, the emptiness that you feel inside. I know your life is empty. I know traditional religion and Lama Lama New Age shit is not fulfilling your life. I’m fulfilling my life with a bunch of rednecks from North Carolina turning left for no good reason. HAHAHAHA!


G: Let me just say that your album “Bo-Day-Shus!!” hipped the teenage me to the fact there were alternatives to wearing khakis and listening to Phil Collins, or wearing eyeliners and listening to Depeche Mode. So, I owe you. Records, you making any?

MOJO: I don’t think so. I made a record around eight years ago called SOCK RAY BLUE, nobody gave a shit. I spent a lot of time on it, writing songs and it’s about the best record I could have made.

I COULD make another record that would be just a different version of SOCK RAY BLUE.

But FUCK, I made ten records, ain’t that enough? I keep thinking I am going get a lot better as singer or a songwriter or a guitar player, but I’m not, I’m a one trick pony. I got three or four kinds of songs I can write and play. They’re okay, but they’re not great.

What people really liked was coming to the show and seeing the monkey show. The greatest thing about the show was Hell Fuck you didn’t know what I was going to say. HAHAHAHAHA. Hell, I didn’t know either.

And DEPECHE MODE: how come they didn’t die in a plane crash? Lynard Skynard gets killed in a plane crash and DEPECHE MODE is as alive as a motherfucker.

G: Who is the biggest lyin’ cocksucker of them all?

MOJO: You know I would tempted to say George Bush, but you know he is just…

You know who the biggest lying cocksucker is? The biggest lying cocksucker of all time is whoever convinced us that the act of creating life is dirty. And that we should be ashamed and we should be ashamed our naked bodies. I really don’t believe that there is a god in the traditional sense of the word. If there is a devil.. that’s who it is.

WHO TRICKED US? Who somehow tricked us into being ashamed of our bodies and creating life? THAT is greatest lying cocksucker of them all.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Walking Spanish said...

i love his song "when did i become my dad"

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...I have no time to read it, but I will...I will. Are you still around for possible mid-working day coffee sometime after the 12th?

1:49 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Truly entertaining :)
Thanks!

1:56 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Spanish -- I enjoy that one, too. I dread that day.

Kim -- After the 12th? Uh, yes! San Fran or Berkeley?

Stephanie -- You're Welcome!

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greg,

Thanks for the excellent interview. You beat me to the punch. Mojo always has something interesting to say.

I've linked to your story from our blog, Political Cage Match.

Again, thanks.

7:33 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Right on Randy, thanks for the love. (Not the love Mojo speaks of, just so we're clear.)

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great interview, but too short. ben fong torres is pissed. fuck bft...(:

7:08 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Ben Fong Torres can kiss my ass.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I listened to some weird shit as a "youf," but admittedly never quite got Mojo. Had I read this interview then, I no doubt would have his albums filed comfortably next to my Nig-Heist.

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

. . . And "anonymous" is Bub (bloggly challenged)

4:05 PM  

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