Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Teeming Masses Call for Robertson's Death

The Associated Press
Monday, August 22, 2005; 11:06 PM

The Civilized Nations of Earth. – The Teeming Masses of the civilized world called on Monday for the assassination of American televangelist Pat Robertson, calling him a "pig-faced cretin" dangerous to the civilization and the genetic integrity of the human race.

The Teeming Masses, who membership includes King Albert II of Belgium and actress Suzanne Pleschette, said in millions of conversations around the globe that “someone should shoot that pig faced cretin in the head, and do us all a favor already.” Barber Kato Kastuo, of Nara, Japan added "somebody should also step on his neck.”

Robertson has emerged as one of the most outspoken critics of civilization, accusing the people with premium cable of witchcraft, as well as contending all adult males who own lap dogs are probably “anal probing queerbaits” who should be stoned.

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks everybody is evil, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," said eight year old Talia Winston of Morristownship, New Jersey. "We could watch it on the TV, just to make sure the job got done right."

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Bono said to a capacity stadium crowd at a rally in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
He was joined on stage by the Dali Lama, who stated: "We don't need $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, asshole. It's a whole lot easier to have some guys do the job and then get it over with."

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4 Comments:

Blogger antineil said...

Wait a sec. Isn't for the right to life? Hmmmm.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

is for? a sec?

5:14 PM  
Anonymous karena said...

Thank God Dali Lama finally got his groove on! Freaking pacifist. Show some Bush-style backbone.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Dali Lama is a noted practioner of Old-Chinese-Lady-Fu.

10:22 AM  

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