Birth of a deeply unfunny douchebaggy viral email

((BEEEEP))

Hi, Rachel. It’s Donny again. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about this photo thing.
Um, it’ll just be an afternoon. Less than an afternoon. And…uh… like I said, it’s photo. You and Sandy get in a pair of bikinis…wait I’m getting ahead of myself. Sorry. You mentioned something about really comfortable about how you look right now. Well,
that’s part of the joke… that you’re not uncomfortable, despite…uh…not fitting society’s falsely narrow view of what’s quote healthy and desirable unquote. And actually, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable… at all. If you want to drink some liquor, great. Smoke reefer. Whatever it takes. I want YOU to be comfortable. I want Sandy to be comfortable. In fact, the only way that I…or wait, let me rephrase that…WE can pull this off is if you have the right… what’s the word… insouciance. Anyway, I think we’ve got a concept here that has legs and will get us all noticed in the douchebaggy viral email, uh, scene.
Cool. Let me know soon. I gotta go get the trucks waxed. Bye bye.