Tuesday, July 04, 2006

A-ha! The Tables Turned!

y blog pal Kimananda has dropped a load of questions on me. Granted, I asked her to, because I thought they'd be easy. Ha! Not the case. Apparently not everyone has adopted my half-ass and lazy interview style.

Anyway, my answers are below. Feel free to cringe.

1. You have been given the opportunity to become any person whom you've mentioned on any of your blogs. Who do you become and why?

Um, this is an odd question. Do I become wholly that person, thus unaware that I'm still me? Or do does my ego manifest as a sneaky little gnome guy, hiding out and monitoring the show? Do I get to carve "Motorhead" into the brain of the victim?

Um, I suppose Nabakov would be the most interesting personality to inhabit. He had an interesting life and from his writing I'd guess his innerlife was pretty phatasmagoric. Nice place to visit for 24 hours. Or Lemmy, 'cause of the chicks.

2. One of your listed interests is 'reading while eating'. What is
your favorite and your least favorite book/food combination, and why?

Chinese seems to work for most books, because the flavor isn’t so insistent that you can’t ignore when you have to. Really amazing food of course deserves full attention (though conversation is always given). A memorable meal/book combination was back in my financially strapped days: a friend of a friend did a favor for a guy who worked in a hoity-toity liquor store. In payment, the liquor employee gave my aquaitance a carton filled extremely expensive, extremely stolen French wine, a bottle of which somehow ended up in my dingly little house. I read “Pale Fire” and while eating a baked chicken breast stuffed with spinach and feta and this purloined amazing wine that tasted stolen. And it was raining. Nice.

Cereal is bad for most books, unless they’re kind of dumb and pointless.

Note: Books that stay open on their own are best for eating to.

2. You know many fun facts about many well-known people…tell us five fun facts about yourself. Be creative, yet honest.

a. I have a gimp wrist. My left hand can’t rotate to a palm-up position. The farthest it’ll go is with my thumb pointing up in a “nice to meet you” position. I could never be a really good waiter.

b. Won a pony when I was four in a drawing at the Walnut Festival. The beast was named Billy Blazer and his back was bowed. My parents were not horse or pony people and so were a bit put-out by the whole thing.

We kept the poor old bastard in the backyard for the month we owned him. He used to come stare at us at the picture window while we watched TV. Haunting.

c. Tried out for the American quiz show Jeopardy a couple years back. Aced the test, but freezed up on the screen-test portion. It was a weird experience that still seems dreamlike to me. I may have to blog about it.

d. My three-year old son is getting his tonsils out soon and the thought of him going under scares the living crap out of me.

e. I’m overweight and it vexes me to no end. I worked with a personal trainer for a while and had good results but gave it up because I found watching TV and eating ice cream like a barn yard hog a lot more fun. Am ramping up to take another crack at this “health” thing I hear so much about.

3. Bastard of Art, or Bastard of Commerce. You can only choose one. Which do you choose, and please justify your answer.

Easy, I think. I’d have to say “Art”. “Commerce” is just how keep shoes on the children’s feet and a chicken in the pot.

What I’d call my “Art” is the little worlds I detour into. Some of that gets routed onto my blog, very occaisionally some gets into my work. Other crap is probably too idiosyncratic to make sense to most people. My long suffering wife gets glimpses into it and she seems to get a kick out of seeing my mind work. I write, I draw, I tell idiotic little stories to friends. It’s the aspect of my personality I get the most satisfaction from and I’m most protective of.

I worry about losing that as I get older.

5. You've started interviewing real people. Who tops your dream list of interviewees, and what would be the main topic of conversation?

God. (That's an interjection, not the interveiwee.) Um, I'd have to say Sterling Hayden. He was the actor that played the insane Air Force general in Dr. Strangelove and the corrupt Irish cop that Michael Corlone kills over dinner in the Godfather. He was an instinctive actor that dominated any scene he was in, but genuinely hated the acting process. He liked sailing boats and he took his kids on a six month South
Seas cruise on his yacht without telling his ex-wife. Obviously not something I condone, but still...ballsy.

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