Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Igor, the Retarded Russian Orthodox Deacon.



Now, Igor, pay attention. Father wanted me to...IGOR...HEY! Father wanted me to help you with your vestments... you looked like shit at vespers last night.

The diaconal vestments include the sticharion, right? Right? Hey, dummy, over here. (Snaps)Includes the sticharion, the orarion, and the epimanikia, which is worn under, not over, the sticharion.

I said UNDER the sticharion, dumbshit. HEY! YOO-WHOO! DUMBSHIT! Over here. Hello? Are you even listening to me???

Ahhh, shit. Igor! Now you got it all... tangled up.... SHIT. Stand still. Stop...fussing.

Okay...pay attention now...Igor... yes, the icons are pretty.

And comb your beard, fucking HELL. You look like a fucking Rastafarian. Shit.

Now, listen...you're going to take...hold this....HOLD THIS...okay...you're going to take this censer and waft it around....that's it...waft...there you go! Lots of incense. Smells nice. And don't touch the brazier without me or George around, okay? Fire, right? Fire is bad to touch. Hot! See? Hot!

Yes, like the candles. They are hot, too.

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5 Comments:

Blogger jackt said...

Hahaha. This is confusing, but funny.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Well, I find it amusing. At that is the most important thing.

(The audience for this gag in North America is like four people)

7:48 PM  
Blogger Kris_One said...

Jesus H. Christ, that was disturbing.

8:32 PM  
Blogger G. said...

I'm pretty sure Igor presided over my parent's wedding.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

G. -- are you a russki?

10:11 AM  

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