Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Worst Case Scenario

Two Mexican migrant workers, both men, get married in a Muslim ceremony. During the ceremony, a freak fire breaks out, and one of the grooms grab an American flag on display in the hall and beats out the flames.

One has glaucoma, so his tux ass pocket is filled with medical weed. The other works in a factory that produces fake display food for Japanese restaurants. He has a large rubber gherkin in his pocket. (In a previous job, he served as a guide taking people on tours of the glaciers of Kilimanjaro.) In going over the song list with the wedding DJ over the phone, one of the men keeps mentioning the song “La Bamba”. It’s a bad connection, so the DJ asks the man to repeat the title of the song. “BOMB-a. La BOMB-a”. The DJ agrees, then suggests the Dixie Chicks. The groom responds enthusiastically, not noticing an ominous clicking on his phone.

In preparation for their honeymoon to France, one of the grooms head to the Public Library. Remembering his soul mates love of seafood, he ask the library for an anchovy cookbook. The librarian mishears him, and gives him the Anarchist Cookbook.

Then, on the way home, he adopts a child and buys some fertilizer. Lots of fertilizer. He wants to open a lawn care business in Louisiana. In the meantime, he and his spouse to be have bought a beautiful little house on a quarter acre lot, one that stands on a plot of land that a city council member got a call about from an lawyer for Wal-Mart. The lawyer had some interesting ideas on how the city might pick up some extra tax revenue for that particular plot of land, and did the city council member next any campaign cash, or a maybe a trip to Scotland to play some golf?

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2 Comments:

Blogger jackt said...

Donchu be making fun of my pals Manuel and Jose!!!

6:28 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Dude, I married Jose's cousin. I can make fun.

7:57 PM  

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