Thursday, June 15, 2006

Prince Phillip: Class Act!

I came across this list of Prince Phillip quotes on Wikipedia this morning. What a charmer!

* When visiting China in 1986, he told a group of British students, "If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed".

* After accepting a gift from a Kenyan native he replied, "You are a woman, aren't you?"

* "If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)

* "British women can't cook." (1966)

* To a British student in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"

* Angered local residents in Lockerbie when on a visit to the town in 1993, the Prince said to a man who lived in a road where 11 people had been killed by wreckage from the Pan Am jumbo jet: "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle."

* On a visit to the new Welsh Assembly in Cardiff, he told a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, "Deaf? No wonder you are deaf standing so close to that racket."

* He asked an Indigenous Australian, "Still throwing spears?" (2002)

* Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary, "You can't have been here that long – you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)

* To the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional Muslim robes, "You look like you're ready for bed!"

* Seeing a shoddily installed fuse box in a high-tech Edinburgh factory, HRH remarked that it looked "like it was put in by an Indian".

* When a twelve-year-old boy told the Prince that he aspired to be an astronaut, His Highness responded, "You're too fat."

* On the Royal Navy ship HMS Boxer, when given a tour of the ship, which was quite extended, was quoted to have said, "Not another fucking chamber"

* On a visit to Exeter Cathedral, he asked a blind woman with a guide dog, "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"

* Visiting San Francisco in 1983, after meeting then-mayor Dianne Feinstein and several female members of the city council, he remarked, "Aren't there any male officials?... This is a nanny city."

* "They must be out of their minds" - in the Solomon Islands, in 1982, when he was told that the annual population growth was only 5%.

* "How about a root?" - to a senior member of the CWA during an Australian Royal Tour in 1970.

* "That was a bloody Masonic handshake, you sly old wog." - on meeting His Holiness Pope John Paul II at the Vatican in 1988.

* "This place is run by darkies." - during a 1993 royal tour of Africa.

* "Fuck off and bring me a Scotch." - to a waiter at a 1982 conference in Paris.

* "Get me a gun, Rice Eyes, I want to bag one." - to a zoo attendant during a 1989 inspection of an endangered panda exhibit at Beijing Zoo.

* "Well, that's it. I just shit myself." - cutting short his speech opening a car factory in Bristol in 1998.

* "Her Majesty's on the blocks at the moment ... fancy being queen for a night?" - aside to schoolgirl, 10, during a 1994 visit to a Catholic convent school in west Namibia.

* "Well it wouldn't have been through brain injury!" - consoling his son Charles on hearing news of the death of Princess Diana.

* "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" - to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland, during a 1995 walkabout.

* In 1996 he caused an outcry among gun law reformers when he said: "There's no evidence that people who use weapons for sport are any more dangerous than people who use golf clubs or tennis rackets or cricket bats."

* During a Royal visit to China in 1986 he described Peking as "ghastly".

* He said of Canada: "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."

* At the height of the recession in 1981 he said: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."

* Commenting on stress counselling for servicemen in a TV documentary on the 50th Anniversary of D-Day, he said: "It was part of the fortunes of war. We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking `are you all right - are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?'. You just got on with it."

* Personal remarks have annoyed singing stars. In 1969 The Duke said to Tom Jones after the Royal Variety Performance: "What do you gargle with, pebbles?". At a private lunch in the 1970s he said he thought Adam Faith's singing was like bath water going down a plug hole.

* "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (in 1996, amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)

* "Bloody silly fool!" (in 1997, referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him)

* "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world." (in 1991, in Thailand, after accepting a conservation award)

* "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." (in 1992 in Australia, when asked to stroke a Koala bear)

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6 Comments:

Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Hey. Hey. Hey...

NO British people can cook.

This sweeping generalization is correct.

12:37 PM  
Blogger jackt said...

That Cantonese joke is widely known- he was just repeating it. Bastard.

5:39 PM  
Blogger erin said...

Yep, pretty classy guy.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Marion said...

He's senile. Or a bloody silly fool.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Inbreeding will do that.

10:08 AM  
Blogger G. said...

Thought I would finally add my story of my touch with Royalty. I went to a boarding school for highschool--one that, of all people, Prince Andrew had attended. He arrived in a helicopter one day for an alumni function at a period in my life where I sported the single most abraisive haircut in the world (shaved sides, long on top--more heart-wrenching than a mullet in retro-spect). Prince Andrew took one look at me and said:
"I've seen short hair, and I've seen long hair, but what in the name of God is that?"

True story.

7:19 AM  

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