5 ways to spot a fake potato

1). Is it made of plaster? Yes? Fake potato.

2). The potato plays backgammon. Potatoes are tubers, cannot play backgammon. Thus, a fake potato. QED, asshole.

3). Does have a gills? Potatoes are land-based. Not a potato.

4). Does it take 50 seconds to microwave it? Ahhh, hell no. That's no potato for sures.

5). Does it taste good with chives and sour cream? Yes? Well, that's a true potato. Or a yam.