Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Rise of Chuy: Scourge of the Undead

Chuy, the dog, HATES squirrels. Hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

He especially hates squirrels of the UNDEAD variety.

This is what happened:

Paula, Owen, and Chuy were boulevarding one afternoon last week, taking in the air and observe the civic heart of our city in the midday bustle.

Chuy, being small and curious, regularly peels off his sidewalk skim to dive into the warrens you’d observe under bushes if you were as short as he was. For a small dog, the world is a series of small hutches filled with goblins.

On this afternoon, he growled, then barked (something he never does), then dove into a bush on a busy sidewalk. After a few minutes of the bush shaking violently, Chuy bounded out of the bush with the still-moist carcass of a disemboweled squirrel.
(He wasn’t the disemboweller and I’m sure that irked him)

He shook that squirrel corpse like a money maker, and the resultant offal spray caused Paula, Owen and two teenagers skateboarding nearby to start screaming.

Owen (a animal lover) was screeching “Chuy! Stop killing nature!”

Paula managed to still Chuy’s bloodlust long enough to convince him to drop the desiccated romper toy. He was flecked with gore however, so needed a bath at home.

Owen told Paula: “I hate Chuy. He kills nature.”

Since that day, Owen has made peace with Chuy's nature. He knows the squirrel was already demised and Chuy was merely having a lark.

And all the while Chuy dreamt on, imagine a mountain of squirrel skulls, with Chuy himself tucked into a pile of warm laundry at the top.

Chuy is not to be trifled with.

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