Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I would like to work at your firm.

Offer me a job. At your work.

I will take it, by gum. I will bring my own lunch. I'll sit quietly, and cheerfully.

I could tidy, collate, bring in the elephants.

Got a waxing need? I'll wax it. Canvas need stretching? I'll get my gloves.

Can I plan an invasion for you? Please? I won't be any trouble. I have my own maps and a pen.

Will wear a tie. Or pasties.

Let me reheat the morning soup for you. I will punish your enemies, roll your oats, call the faithful to prayer.

All I need is a honest fair, salary and four weeks off.

You have reached the limits of your effectiveness, but I can extend for you. "Milk the cats! Ring the bells! Calculate the rate of decay! I'm busy, Mills!"

And I'm on it, my name tag a glisten and my hassock freshly pressed.

I will not complain when I am cut by paper, exposed to pathogens, or put next to the boring client in the Lear Jet.

I won't alphabetize, so don't ask. And I am leery of deep-fryers, since the accident.

But I will dress your windows like the fabled window dresser I know deep down that I am.

So, what do you say? Are we jake?

Hire me.

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Blogger kimananda said...

You're hired. You will be Officer in Charge of Dancing with Fussy Babies and Vice President of Diapers, Mustardy Yellow Poop Division. No alphabetizing, no frying of any kind. Depending on your performance, you may be given a bookshelf to decorate.

When can you start?

5:03 AM  

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