Friday, April 07, 2006

Dumb jack-booted hillbillies fuck up. Everyone gets an X-Box!

In the 2003, a crack team of Goose Creek, South Carolina’s very Special Weapons and Tactics unit went into the breach, storming the halls of Stratford High School in full riot gear, weapons a-drawn.

The freak-os, hop heads, and dope huffers were gonna pay. Pay BIG. Their days of peddling insidious hell weed and godless nihilism were finito, thanks to John Law.

Well, They cuffed a bunch of kids that happened to be meandering through the halls at the time, and found…nothing. No drugs, no… nothing. No uppers. No downers. No embalmers. No screamers. No Lady H. No tea. No Mr. Charlie. No Special K. No Method. No African Mind Fuck (I made that one up). Nary a gram of da kine oily skunk bud with the fucking crystals and purple hairs.

So now the school district, the cops and other shitheads have to drop $1.2 big uns to be divided by the kids they cuffed that day. I smell a new school bond!

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4 Comments:

Blogger Ahmad Kamal Abu Bakar said...

this sort of stuff happens in my country a lot Greg. only there aren't any lawsuits. when it comes to drugs, the cops are gods. they could just pick you up, do a dope test with the shittiest equipment ever, get positive results, haul you up in a fucking lock up for two or three days (or maybe a week, depending on how busy the fucking magistrates are), and then when all hopes are gone, the lab result comes up saying that the first test was a screw up. its a lengthy tiring process. i know people who starts DOING drugs just because of this. ironic eh?
and yeah, i kinda ripped off yr template. imitation is still kind of one form of flattery eh? :)
cheers.

4:48 AM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

African Mind Fuck isn't a myth, it's readible at Golden Aplle Comics down the street from Fairfax High.

6:44 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

M --

The "war on drugs" here is way for local police to scrounge federal dollars to buy totally rad guns.

They're flogging it because it "funds terrorists". In my drug purchasing days, I bought from the grower or at least a step away from the grower (pot and mushrooms).

The local cops where I live sort of lay off people unless it's really, really apparent they're high.

Walking up on the hills behind the house I grew up in, it wasn't unusual to find a well-tended pot patch.

The only thing I was funding was some guy's Iron Maiden tapes. Which is something I think we should all support.

(I ripped off the template from someone else. So spread the love.)

Crackpot--
You spelled Apple wrong. Dick.

1:10 AM  
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12:22 PM  

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