Friday, June 01, 2007

Merely a List

1. Catal Hyük
2. lintel
3. the black oak
4. Grace Jones
5. Corrugated Tin Roofing
6. agape
7. PEZ
8. Chili sauce
9. The male girdle
10. Michel de Montaigne
11. cats what have wee little glovesies
12. frying
13. geologic
14. fridge magnets shaped like wee fishes
15. polo
16. failed magicians
17. moo
18. hypertext mark up language
19. heat rash
20. live feed
21. radar range
22. The Living Planet
23. diacritic
24. sunglasses inside (as worn by douchebags)
25. invented television programs
26. lies told to bus drivers
27. Helium
28. reflective road bump thingies
29. the smell of a freshly cleaned cage
30. arroyo
31. lisp
32. kinky hair
33. Terra Haute, Indiana
34. demisemiquaver
35. “as-salamu ‘alaykum”
36. weinerdog sweaters
37. Radisson Lackawanna Station Hotel
38. cats seen from a distance, causing distress
39. terra cotta vs. stucco as a surface for rollerskating
40. References to the color orange on the blog “Bastard of Art and Commerce”
41. snakes living in the liner of a beer cooler
42. Fellowship felt between unattractive people

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10 Comments:

Blogger kimananda said...

Which reminds me, there is apparently a PEZ museum in Burlingame, or somewhere equally suburban. I may have to check it out, now that I'm in the neighborhood.

6:04 PM  
Blogger Marion said...

I'm reading your list while listening to no. 4's La Vie en Rose off this compilation, after reading Benjamin Péret's "Calendar of Tolerable Inventions from around the World" -- which is an equally crazy list where one can learn, for example, that mustard was invented as anti-honey -- and after deciding not to include Borges's Chinese Encyclopaedia into my writing on taxonomy and classification, because it's getting a bit old. Now I might just quote Greg Mills instead.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

I haven't read that story for years, but now that I think about it, it is an subconscious rip-off, like George Harrison did with "He's So Fine" for "My Sweet Lord". So, quote Greg Mills if you must, with the caveat that Greg Mills is a scoundrel and a thief.

10:40 AM  
Blogger How I Died Today said...

I wonder how honey feels about mustard now that the two combined are the world's most popular salad dressing.

Keep your friends close and your enemies delicious.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Chloe said...

okay, i googled "male girdle" and this is the photo it came up with
http://www.tomkatcrazy.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/tom-cruise-needs-bro.jpg

scary

oh and my word verification is "tv mob"

11:02 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Died -- Combining mustard and honey would result in instant annihilation of both condiment. I'm thinking you might be using a false mustard and/or honey. Does your mustard smell of hot tar?

Chloe -- That man is uniquely unpleasant.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Hmmm Snakes in a Beer Cooler....

I Love the concept... I am going to see if Jeff Foxworthy is available...

10:54 PM  
Blogger Crackpot Press said...

Jeff Foxworthy would play me.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Dewey said...

I just followed a librarything link to your blog, and ended up reading everything on this page. And may I just say that you, sir, are hilarious.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Greg Mills said...

Thanks, Dewey. You are obviously a bright person.

11:02 PM  

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