The problems with being a hopelessly obscure m.f.er

I get a lot of visitors looking for information on the Russian Orthodox diaconate.

Why? Because of this: Igor, the Retarded Russian Orthodox Deacon.

I'm even offended by it at this point, and I can't imagine most folks searching for information on Russian deacons share the same sense of humor I do.

I also get a lot of referrals from the search terms "Kim Jong Il" and, curiously, "Nude Fat Man".

I do love the goddamn internet so.

(PS -- 500th post.)

The on-set of a crippling neurological ailment?

Walking back from lunch today, I saw a woman loading a case of Pepsi into her car.

So I said,"Soda".

Just like that.

Not to anyone, just the sky. "Soda"

Am I going mad?

Merely a List

1. Catal Hyük
2. lintel
3. the black oak
4. Grace Jones
5. Corrugated Tin Roofing
6. agape
7. PEZ
8. Chili sauce
9. The male girdle
10. Michel de Montaigne
11. cats what have wee little glovesies
12. frying
13. geologic
14. fridge magnets shaped like wee fishes
15. polo
16. failed magicians
17. moo
18. hypertext mark up language
19. heat rash
20. live feed
21. radar range
22. The Living Planet
23. diacritic
24. sunglasses inside (as worn by douchebags)
25. invented television programs
26. lies told to bus drivers
27. Helium
28. reflective road bump thingies
29. the smell of a freshly cleaned cage
30. arroyo
31. lisp
32. kinky hair
33. Terra Haute, Indiana
34. demisemiquaver
35. “as-salamu ‘alaykum”
36. weinerdog sweaters
37. Radisson Lackawanna Station Hotel
38. cats seen from a distance, causing distress
39. terra cotta vs. stucco as a surface for rollerskating
40. References to the color orange on the blog “Bastard of Art and Commerce”
41. snakes living in the liner of a beer cooler
42. Fellowship felt between unattractive people

Best alarming keyword search term ever

Someone in Texas was looking for "aleister crowley poem about farting". I salute you, sir.

(I nearly posted this accidently to my wife's blog.)

Ntude Lpesbian HOTGIMRLSs Fgondling & Fyingering Outdoor

Welsh people keep emailing my bulk folder.

To whit:

Pooor Gmay Bkoy Squcking GIGANTCBOCK In BkathtubM

I believe this is the first line of the Lord's Prayer in Welsh.

io offers up a truly pithy subject line: *mcLsb c0k"

This may be Scots Gaelic. Not sure.

Meanwhile, ¬ì Il, writes ²³¹¿µÄ¨èÜ· The last known speaker of Manx has contacted me! Honored, I am.

Ah, me. To live in an age that an anonymous Basque correspondent reaches out electronically to a foreign across the sea such as my self, with the poignant cry rendered in his mother tongue: "Ydoung HOQTGURLS In Jeans Tshong Swhowing On Vgoyeur Cham"!

What on earth is happening in the Basquish Lands that a lone Basquish locutor feels the need to contact me, a distant doofus. Animals!

Whoever you are, O Brave Basque, I will do what I can to ensure that the hoqtgurls will vgoyeur on chams, the best chams that money can buy, just as soon as I find out what chams are.

Thankfully, Arantxa Vanhoose, a kindly Internet stranger, has assured via email that "She will make the night memorable for lifetime!!!!"

It's nice to know someone out there is looking out for me.

Keywords of the Damned

People, people who I guess have lives, jobs, loves, dreams, and rich innerlives, people who ARE WALKING FREE AMONG US, have recently came to this site via the following search terms:

gaping sphincters
penis sock puppets
tv show space garbage
hot girl karena 8th street latina profile
rug burn scar
shane macgowan hallucination
statuary gnomes caca
nasty wrestling bastards skate
curse * labia
lemmy has throat cancer
leroy neiman and little known facts

Recent Alarming Keyword Activity.

Things have gotten desperate out there. Here are the most recent ACTUAL search keywords that have led people to your Bastard of A and C.

if my daddy new i was fucking a nigger

body hair gay nude

kqed sticker

salems lot soundtrack lyrics

hitler tottenkopf rings

the affect of cocaine on weasels

old chinese lady get fucked

i have a zits below my eye

white hair grows on earlobe

bastard history fight club

huckleberry finn curse god

labia majora photo sex fuck (this lonely feller came from the Islamic Republic of Iran)

More alarming keywords

uzbekistan night hookers
robert plant's grandkids
titler hitler
vile russian
greg mills theater
massive forearms
russian hookers in berlin
great russian hooker
british lovemaking blog (This one sounds nice.)
sex film

alarming keywords

old skanks
bright and dirty lyrics
shane mcgowan teeth
hairy coworker
miscengeneration
sony xcp list kings of leon
cat_habitrail
nude fat ass
michael dempsey guiding light
greg mills
Free sex film
Mike’s Hard Lemonade
Stock shot celebrity teeth
People in Canada
L. Ron Hubbard
Kim Il Sung hero
Saturn astronomy Rockets
Nude Celebrity
Hairy ass
Free sexy computer
Cornhole
Escaped parrot video
Tuvan throat singing
Spelling nude