Thursday, April 13, 2006

Busy body creeps in Kansas.


God, I'm such a CRANKYPANTS these days.

My latest sphincter clenching was inspired by an idiot school board member in Kansas (the vulgar and grasping cow Connie Morris) who DEMANDED the removal of an image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster from the door of an 8th grade science class in Kansas.

According to Wikipedia, the FSM is

"the deity of a parody religion created by Bobby Henderson in 2005 to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. On the site and in the letter, Henderson professes belief in a supernatural Creator entity that resembles spaghetti and meatballs, called the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and suggests that FSMism should be taught in science classrooms, essentially arguing a reductio ad absurdum against the teaching of Intelligent Design."

Here is an craven image of the God in question:

It seems the jackbooted battleaxe Connie Morris was on an inspection tour of her personal Reich, when she can across an image of our Noodley Lord. Smacking the image with her riding crop, she demanded it be taken down IMMEDIATELY. ("Macht Schnell, motherfucker!") Why?

Because Connie Morris is a swine eager to piss away the grandeur of WESTERN MOTHERFUCKING CULTURE SO SHE CAN PIMP HER CORNPONE SLEAZY VERSION OF $%^!#$^~#$^~ REALITY.

Fuck. ME.

YHWH's Seven Day Plan for a New Universe gets a pass. Yet, somehow, the equally arbitrary Spaghetti Monster doesn't make the cut?

Do you see it? Do you see the irony?

We can't have fun any more? Teachers can't be goofy? Kids can't make up their goddamn minds? We can't laugh? All knees must bow befor Grand Inquisitor nincompoop school board thugs ? Is tacky shallow evangelical protestantism the official state religion? Is shallowness a mark of saintliness? Should the life examined be suspect? Fuck me. Fuck me to hell and Nevada.

Anyway, I say recall the twat.

And, yea verily, here is the The Gospel of the Fly Spaghetti Monster.

Wikipedia and the FSM in mentioned in one post. Hi, I'm a dork.

I'll try to be funny in the next post. I'm going through a ranty thing lately.

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Blogger G. said...

I'm anti FSM, because he doesn't bring me gifts at Christmas, and I have gluten allergy.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Jack P Toerson said...

It was a funny rant, so I think you should revise its ranty status to funny ranty status. Or franty.

7:46 PM  

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